Little Things that Bother Me


Like misogyny.

This weekend I was out on my bike. Yes, it was hotter than Hades. But I’m about to go on another cycle trip and wanted to make some upgrades to the bike. I was ¾ of the way home and entering the Lakefront Trail on Ardmore. A group of men veered from the sidewalk to walk in front of me. I was going super slow as I had just crossed the intersection. I was right behind them as they walked in front of me so not too far. I said, “There’s a walking path right of the cycleway.”

You would have thought I told them to go to hell or go ---- themselves. It was World War 3. As I passed, giving them plenty of space, not yelling ON YOUR LEFT or ringing my bell, but just simply existing next to them, they erupted in Holy Hell. They did not stop calling after me in abusive language; I could hear them even after I turned onto the path and rounded a corner.

I took a deep breath. It was weird how immediate and fraught it felt.

Then a minute later on the path I was about to cycle around a slower ride. The oncoming lane was clear and so again didn’t feel the need to shout ON YOUR LEFT or ring my bell—except he was looking at his phone and suddenly veered left, almost hitting me. I swerved and simply said, You are wandering. At first he was like, oh sorry. Then again it was a spitstorm of obscenities.

I really cannot account for this. Except that I happen to be a woman and I said something. Both of these instances I used a neutral tone and tried to make a simple statement of fact. I wasn’t insulting their mother. I also used a room conversation voice, not shouting.

Perhaps, I’m still ruminating about this:

A NPR radio news story about fans of the Marvel movie Endgame who have posted YouTube edited versions. I’m used to Harry Potter fans writing fan fiction—this is a tribute to their love of the books. In the news story the fans are editing out Brie Larson, offering instead a "defeminized" fan edit.

An anonymous fan edited out shots, scenes and characters in a "defeminized" version circulating now on an illegal streaming site. As well as losing Larson's character, Captain Marvel, the defeminized edit is missing a scene where Hawkeye teaches his daughter to shoot. ("Young women should learn skills to become good wives and mothers and leave the fighting to men," the editor opined in an accompanying document.) The role of Black Panther is minimized. ("He's really not that important.") Spider-Man doesn't get rescued by women characters anymore. ("No need to.") And male characters no longer hug.

This particular defeminized edit is just the latest example of a trend, says Suzanne Scott, a professor of film and media studies at the University of Texas. A similar "chauvinist cut" of 2017's Star Wars: The Last Jedi removed key scenes of women making decisions, giving orders, having ideas and fighting in battle. So much was trimmed, Scott says, that only about 30% of the original film remained.

Hearing this—gave me chills. Who does this? Works this hard to erase women, gays, other marginal people from their white, male-phile worldview???

Then in relation to this weekend—what upset these men so much that they couldn’t move three feet over into their own pedestrian walking path or be told—in so many words—it’s not wise to ride and be staring into your phone. Why the sudden, violent reaction?

Also I might have been impacted by the week’s news cycle of Trump tweets and the resulting meltdown. It was disheartening every time I saw and heard the tweets repeated about “go back to your own country”, go back to where you came from—directed to powerful women of color.

There is something at work here that gives the males on the Lakefront Trail a sense of privilege that they feel perfectly okay lashing out at anyone/women that comes near them or asks for shared space.
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