Memoirous

What We Need is Here Geese appear high over us, pass, and the sky closes. Abandon, as in love or sleep, holds them in their way, clear in the ancient faith: what we need is here. And we pray, not for a new earth or heaven, but to be quiet in heart, and in eye, clear. What we need is here. --Wendell Berry This amazing little poem, bit of wisdom was left on my pillow at the Cenacle, a retreat center here in Chicago on Fullerton Ave. right next to the zoo. The retreat was anything but zooey. It was the first weekend of 2011 and I used it to get started on a novel that I'm currently finishing up revising. I also wrote a short story that I've revised a couple of times this year and finally submitted--hopefully to win a prize. If in the area why not sign up for the SCBWI New Year's Retreat--and get your 2012 off write, right? Contact me if you need further info.

Merry Christmas! Here is a Christmas Day excerpt from Beyond Paradise my book ready now for a download. Louise and her mother and several members of the mission are in an internment camp in the Philippines. Christmas Day arrived—my second in the Philippines, my first in captivity. It came without store-bought presents, without Papa, Julie, or mother. Mother mostly lay in bed except for when I took her by the hand and led her to the shower, the toilet, or to meals. She had hardly spoken a word since her outburst about the wedding album. As I looked into her vacant face, I often wondered what she thought about. Was she thinking of Papa? Without Papa she was missing her other half, the part of her that said she fixed good meals, thanked her for being a good wife, held her hand, and smoothed her hair at the dinner table. It was hard watching her crumble a little bit more each day. *** I thought long and hard about what to give Mother. She didn’t need a new cup or bowl. I knew what sh...

Vaclav Havel, former president of the Czech Republic, was laid to rest yesterday. Often we don't find these words used in tandem: president and playwright. Throughout time artists have been rebels, the outliers, stunning the populace with their "weird" ideas that, eventually, get integrated into the mainstream--as even more "weird" ideas are getting introduced. This is the cycle of which the artist is essential. As a rebel and a dissident, Vaclav Havel changed his country, changed the world--by the jangling of keys, with thousands of BIC lighters held high in the square. By promoting art and peace, lightness and brightness through performance, he took his plays to a wider stage. Can you and I start a revolution today? The wall of commerce/commercialism/the general appetite for MORE OF THE SAME is a wall, a fence that can either keep us in or we can decide to break through. I grew up in a home that didn't especially value books or story--when all I ev...

When I was going through my dad's stuff found an old birthday card to him from his "Granny" she was a wise woman from the hills of Kentucky; she possessed a simple and profound faith and thought I would share it. A happy birthday wish for you from Granny Feeback Dear Grandson I have been trying to write you for some time but found out I do not have your address, but got it in time for your birthday. I hope. It seems a long time since I seen you, but it has only been a year. Still a year seems a long time to not see the ones you want to see so bad. But I hope you are all well. I am very well. Of course I don’t feel like I did when I was young, but I am the same old Granny. I miss Granddaddy as much as ever and I guess I always will. I have a very good place to live now and a good Christian woman to live with I like fine here and I hope won’t be moving anyways soon. I like Mrs. Stephenson very much, and she seems to like me. We attend church together and both belong to...

This is my mom and dad--when they were just dating, way back in college. Dad died last Sunday. He was 86. Harold Caywood Feeback was born in Kentucky in Horse Country. For vacations we used to go back there and visit. I remember going to the Man O' War monument. If you don't know who Man O' War was--well look it up--the greatest horse that ever lived. Dad's kin were old time folks. Go-down-to-the-river Methodists. He called his granny Granny. Dad used to laugh and say he never knew that a Depression was going on because everyone he knew was poor anyway. Before his senior year in high school his dad got a job with Coca-Cola bottlers in Cincinnati. Harold graduated from Withrow High School in 1943 and immediately joined the Navy and served on the USS Porter . He did his training at Great Lakes Naval Base just north of Chicago. Harold attended Ohio State University on the GI Bill getting a degree in Business with a specialization in International Finance. He was big...

Flash Mob from Uptown Christian School (pretty cute)

start a diet after the holidays until I had to spoon-feed my father a mashed banana. And then, after he died, I decided all I wanted was to eat candy and enjoy the season (as best I can). Harold Caywood Feeback

  This is from NPR http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/12/13/143632180/report-homelessness-among-children-up-38-percent-since-2007 More than 1.6 million American children were homeless at some point in 2010, the nonprofit National Center on Family Homelessness reports today , adding that the number is about a 38 percent increase from 2007. The figure, which includes children under the age of 18 who are living with one or more parents or caregivers on the streets, in shared housing because of "economic hardship" and in "emergency or transitional shelters," underscores how the recession that began in late 2007 "has been a man-made disaster for vulnerable children," Ellen L. Bassuk, founder of the national center, says in a statement . She adds that: "There are more homeless children today than after the natural disasters of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, which caused historic levels of homelessness in 2006. T...

Tonight my husband and I attended a Christmas Gala at CCO (Cornerstone Community Outreach Shelter). Getting there was the hard part. Both ends of the street are sealed off because of police activity--nothing to do with our shelter. It was an out-of-town fugitive dropping in and holding someone hostage above Gigio Pizza. Helicopters and SWAT team called in. Let it snow, let is snow, let it snow. 'Cause the fluffy stuff is better than shell casings. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-police-activity-in-uptown-shuts-down-parts-of-red-purple-lines-20111205,0,861663.story

What's the use of having a blog if you can't share these types of things. Check out this link to my "Elf" video. http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/dMjLECK0uHehOUza?cmpid=ey_url

A YA historical novel written to ask ourselves: What makes you happy? Is it place, family, or something deeper, inside of you. Beyond the externals--despite time limitations, the lack of money, privacy, the ability to travel or do whatever you want. I know this is a hectic time of year, but please check out Beyond Paradise. Here is a small clip that appeared on the back cover of the hardback edition. “I used to listen to this shell before going to bed at night in the internment camps. It reminded me that out there, beyond the fences, the guards, the machine guns, was freedom. I couldn’t get enough of hearing the waves wash the beach. I loved the sound of unbroken movement.” And, if you could, please. Go to: the Amazon Kindle page and "agree" with the tags. What I mean is: scroll to the bottom to Tags Customers Associate with This Product agree with these tags Heard this type of action HELPS my book. Of course this is all voodoo.   ALSO if you know anyone inte...

Back from Thanksgiving vacation and now I'm ready to climb another mountain. Yes, I've put another book on-line. Beyond Paradise was my first venture into publishing. I remember when I got the call from my editor Rosemary Brosnan at Morrow Junior Books. It was weird. I've now learned that no one gets accepted out of the slush pile (according to my friend Esther Hershenhorn of SCBWI fame). Maybe the fact that this was 11 years ago accounts for the phenomena. Fantastic! I signed a contract, I celebrated, I waited. Pretty much hot dogs have a longer shelf life. Part of the problem was that Morrow got bought out by Harper (is it Harper Collins, Harper & Bros, or simply Rupert Murdoch?). Anyway, my baby, the work of my hands, the thing I had gone over and over again with my editor--let alone revised numerous times on my own--got remaindered. Remaindered without the chance for me to buy back at a reduced rate author copies (THOUGH IT WAS IN THE CONTRACT). So today...

could you please go to the Amazon page where Orphan girl (Kindle edition) http://www.amazon.com/Orphan-Girl-Memoir-Chicago-ebook/dp/B0065LVRXC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1321628773&sr=8-2 and click on the tags. What I mean is: scroll to the bottom to Tags Customers Associate with This Product agree with these tags Heard this type pf action HELPS my book. Of course this is all voodoo. 

I just had a short--what I'm calling Flash Memoir--taken by this: Telling Our Stories Press, forthcoming short memoir anthology I thought some of you might want to contribute too here is the link and more info: Telling Our Stories Press Short Memoir Submission Guidelines ~ Telling Our Stories Press seeks raw, close to the bone writing about meaningful personal experiences. We are seeking memoir that enlightens, entertains and connects with the reader at a basic human level – which usually naturally occurs when one examines ones life with depth, sincerity, and a desire for knowledge and understanding . However, as with any memoir, there MUST be some uncovering of whatever wisdom was gained, (however slight) from a backward glance at an era in your life, experiences you’ve undergone, persons in your life, persons you’ve become, lessons learned, etc. We are especially partial to narratives created by the interior, personal writings derived  from creative journal w...

We've all heard that catch-phrase: Learning Curve. I just climbed a Learning Mountain. I won't go into details, but to get my 2 books Orphan Girl and Beyond Paradise turned into e-books has been one long haul. But TODAY I can announce that ORPHAN GIRL IS AVAILABLE AS AN E-BOOK. For this e-book edition I’d like to thank author Megg Jensen for her tremendous help. Megg offered advice and tips on e-book publishing. Check out her books at Dark Side Publishing and at www.meggjensen.blogspot.com .  In addition Mary Jo Guglielmo was the one who told me to get my butt in gear and 1. get a blog and 2. get in on this e-book thing. I know this is the current of publishing today, but I tend to resist and go against the flow. Definitely having a blog has helped to generate interest in my short stories, books, and memoir seminars. Lastly, I am grateful to the final contributor to the Marie James’ story. The last piece of the family puzzle fell into place when I got an e-mail from Ma...

I just booked overseas airline tickets. Why does it always feel like you've walked over the edge of a cliff when you click SEND?

Didn't want to write Happy Veteran's Day--because it doesn't seem to be the case. NPR this morning was reporting "Nearly 1 in 8 veterans who left the service in the past decade is unemployed." Specifically "Some 240,000 veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan are out of work." And then this from a published study on homelessness: "Homeless veterans are more likely to die on the streets than non-veterans, a new study revealed." Yesterday at Cornerstone Community Outreach, the shelter I volunteer at and lead discussion and creative writing groups, there was a HUGE Veteran's Day party. CCO Director Sandy Ramsey said she met an older gentleman at a bus stop and from talking discovered he was a Tuskegee Airmen. I'd seen the movie--though someone told me Denzel was not in that film--must've been thinking about Glory . Anyway, Sandy invited him and any other airmen in the area to the Veteran's Day party at the shelter. She al...

There was a time my husband and I thought we could learn Italian. We’d accidentally gotten to go to Europe ( see The European Schedule http://www.frostwriting.com/issues/article/the-european-schedule/ ) and fell in love with Italy. We had friends living there at the time and somehow we imagined that someday we might go there to live. We liked to pretend that we could escape the Bush years and the embarrassment of the Iraq War. So we signed up for an Italian language Meet Up. Do you know about meet-ups? They are a self-organizing on-line social networking thing that goes like this: If you are interested in geo-caching you can sign up for a Geo-Caching Meet Up, if you are interested in exploring abandoned buildings you could sign up for an Urban Explorer’s Meet Up. There were meet ups for just about any interest. A friend of mine signed up for 6 of them and after going to 2 decided that was enough. There are Knitting Meet Ups, Doll Collector Meet Ups. There’s probably one for bloggers...

Saturday was my birthday and it seems it was the BEST ever! All together I think I spent about $12. I had free tickets to the Humanities Festival downtown on Sat. So we went there. I biked! And got to enjoy the scenic waterfront on the bike path. Afterwards I rode over to Lutz Cafe where the theme is Old European-style pastries. I don't mean old like stale, more like old world. Where I spent a groupon with my husband and had a nice time chatting and eating this: It's a lemon log, the ends are dipped in hard chocolate and there is lemon-flavored butter cream in the center. More than a glorified Twinkie to be sure. Then yesterday me and my friend Stefi took the #80 Irving Park bus to the end of the line and got off at Cumberland to begin biking north on the Des Plaines River trail. Here are some pics from our ride: It was like riding through a leafy autumn wonderland. The Cook county half of the trail is a bit more undeveloped. We were virtually riding through fores...

Dear Mayor Rahm Emmanuel Alderman James Cappleman Ms. Laura Jenkins, Librarian Uptown Branch I am writing in regard to the proposed budget cuts to the Chicago Public Library. Chicago now is considered a national model in the use of libraries as magnets for development. Do you actually want to forfeit Chicago’s standing in this area? In 1994 the former Mayor Richard M. Daley tapped Mary Dempsey to be library commissioner for the Chicago Public Library. Ms. Dempsey, not only oversaw the opening of the Harold Washington Library, but also added 40 new libraries. In addition she improved the 79-branch network — many of whose facilities had been located in small, leased storefronts — but anchored the revitalization of entire neighborhoods. When the private sector saw the city investing in handsome, freestanding library buildings, new businesses, restaurants and mixed-income housing followed. Chicago NEEDS libraries if it wants to attract new businesses. Also, who did Mayor Daley tu...

I know, I know. It’s been like 2 weeks, but I had to relearn how to use the Internet after being away from it for so long. In fact, I couldn’t remember how to turn on a computer after getting home from vacation. BUT here is an interesting item http://www.burialday.com/gothic-blue-book/   Perfect for Halloween and All Saint’s Day. Why not order or download the Gothic Blue Book. My kid has a story in it called “Death and All His Friends.” Also here is a link to my latest short story, recently published by Foliate Oak Literary Magazine http://www.foliateoak.uamont.edu/archives/october-2011/prose/never-forget-by-jane-hertenstein .  I welcome all comments or complaints about this controversial story. In fact I was expecting a firestorm or angry letters after it came out and have been gravely disappointed. Not one bit of hate mail. You see I’m trying to build on my reputation as a rebel-rouser.

Wanted to blog before taking off for 10 days where I’ll be OFF THE GRID. I’m taking a VACATION! Really it’s quaint. We have a trailer in the woods, a bit rustic, where we can do a bit of cooking, sleeping, and READING. But no phone, Internet, etc. Sounds like magic, huh. But before I leave, a few thoughts to my readers. Both of you. My husband and I were walking around an adjoining neighborhood last week and I noticed a food truck! Yay! So many up and coming cities have been getting roaming food trucks. Such as Seattle where the son of some friends of ours owns Skillet. Seattle has a way advanced street food culture. http://www.skilletstreetfood.com/ The parents were telling us about how hard it was in the beginning. You know, how they welded a truck from bits and pieces. You can only launch a project like this with the concentrated help of friends and family. But their son came up with a hit. Not only with his food truck, Skillet, but with his premier BACON JAM. Yup, Josh Henderso...

At AROHO Marilyn Robinson spoke about this. Of course I’m aware of today’s paranoia over borders, terrorists that have turned many people inside out to the point of demonizing the “other”, this was just the first time I’d seen it used as a verb, as in “othering” others. Basically the other is someone other than you. I know pretty broad. Yet it is only in the broadest language that one can describe something as all-encompassing as the universe outside of our self. Some people have attempted to mitigate this generalization by saying something like this: I’m not racist, I’m just not comfortable with a black president or what’s wrong with profiling—we need better border security. Well this is all fine except it is “othering”. A great example of this is in a book I referenced earlier this month: Wendy McClure’s The Wilder Years , where Wendy and her beau traveled to downstate Illinois to attend a weekend festival revolving around farm skills ie putting up tomatoes, canning peaches, making...

Employing a technique I picked up from reading Joe Brainard's I Remember , I'd like to wax nostalgic about the Chicago Marathon.  I remember when 6,000 people ran the marathon, yesterday it was 45,000. I remember when my husband who was then my boyfriend could meet me at the finishing line. Yesterday we couldn't find the finish line for all the people. I remember when it maybe $45 to sign up for the marathon. Someone yesterday told me they paid $160. You used to be able to run the Chicago Marathon bandit--meaning just jump in at the last minute. Yesterday they were ONLY letting people with numbers into the park. So that even your family, loved ones, etc couldn't even GET INTO the park to see their runner start. It was absolutely draconian. I remember when the marathon wasn't sponsored by Bank of America--and it was A LOT BETTER. We used to be able to glean clothes the runners flung at the last minute when the race started. We'd walk up and down Colu...

What is going to happen to people's memories--when instead of committing an event to memory or contriving to later describe it in a journal--we simply go, hey! and take a picture with our cell phones. In the future will everything of significance be recorded only on cell phone? Just wondering.

As many of you know I am intrigued by the blurred line between fiction and non-fiction, between the truth, the whole truth and nothing but—and, well, a lie. I’ve always thought there should be a third way. And, maybe, I think I’ve found a secret door. In blogs past I’ve talked about black and white—and how for some of us it’s all gray. Religion especially. Or say the bones of St. James. My husband was having coffee with a friend, an iconographer, and mentioned that next year we were thinking of walking the El Camino trail in Spain which leads to Santiago, to a cathedral said to house the actual bones of St. James. Do you think, Mike asked his friend, those are really the bones of St. James? He answered that it didn’t matter what he thought, it only matters what the pilgrims think. Of course many walk the trail without an inkling of faith. For some it isn’t about belief but about the discipline. The walking toward something becomes secondary to simply walking. I like to quote An...

Okay not gone and not exactly sixty seconds, but close. One of my favorite ways to keep up on new calls for submissions and to organize the submission process is Duotrope duotrope.com which is delivered weekly to my inbox. It lets me know which literary journals have opened up for submissions, which have closed, and which are now kaput. AND at the bottom is a list of THEME issues. This list has been VERY good to me in the past. So messing around last Friday I saw there was a mag xalled Writer's Haven http://www.original-writer.com/writershaven.html where there was a call for pieces having to do with tranquility or peace. I had one! Composed last spring while on residency at Starry Night in T or C, NM. It was only 322 words, but hey! So I e-mailed it off and as I was still sitting at the computer I got a reply. Accepted! And it only took 6 minutes. Sorry if this sounds like bragging, because, it is. There is very little us writers have--except for random, scattered, not ofte...

There's nothing better than a BADDDD character. So engrossing, so intriguing. We kept watching just to see what she'd do next.

It’s a great feeling to get things all sorted out. Right now I feel like I’ve been on hyper-drive to get everything done. Maybe it is the fact that summer is nearly over and I haven’t had a single grill out at the lake, or maybe the fact that I work at the market 2 days a week in addition to getting up Mon- Fri @ 4:30 to cook breakfast for 300 people, or that I work 2 markets on Wednesday which means I’m on my feet for over 18 hours, on top of that I’m gone all day Thursday taking a class in Winnetka  with Fred Shafer here http://www.ocww.bizland.com/ . Time to write is getting squeezed, so that I have no more creative juice left. But, on the other hand, getting organized can have a soul-deadening effect. Once we no longer have to juggle contending thoughts or activities, once we have finally eliminated mounting tensions then . . . What? Keats coined a phrase called negative capability. In short negative capability is the ability to hold onto reality when it doesn’t fit any cat...

The inner city mission where I live and work is situated not too far from Wrigley Field, where the Cubs play. Maybe it was a friend of a friend or through the city or food depository, but our organization is one of a few invited to come about thirty minutes after the game to pick up unsold stadium hotdogs. So after every home game Chris and Stewart go in an old van to drive the one and half miles to Wrigley to load in a box (or two depending on the weather) of assorted grill items ie either a hot dog, hamburger, brat, or Italian sausage. The whole neighborhood gets a piece of this action. It’s a neighborhood comprised of homeless shelters, half-way houses, people pushing grocery carts down the alleys, and old Hungarian-looking women feeding pigeons next to signs saying Don’t Feed the Pigeons! Trash and bread and bagel debris swirl at corner curbs and once in a while a drunk sleeps one off on a bus bench. But about forty-five minutes even before a game is over, people start streaming...

Readers of this blog know that I am intrigued by the blurred line between fiction and non-fiction, the so-called lie and reality--which today has been skewed into scripted entertainment by reality TV--which leads us all to ask the question: What is real and what is not? Post real, I guess. So to make my point I'd like to cite 2 movies--one forthcoming and one released as a small independent--again I'm not a critic, only a helpful teacher trying to say: WRITE THE DAMN THING. This compulsion to ask yourself is this memoir, can I make it a story(?), I don't think is necessary in the draft stage. Yes, it's important, but only when you are discussing with your editor who the audience is, what your market may be, and where it gets shelved in the bookstore. Up to that point--see the above in bold caps. Lena Dunham is a young filmmaker and by young I mean UNDER 30. She graduated from Oberlin with the most economically competent degree known to mankind: the creative writin...