Thanks for these gray hairs
Thanks for these weird discolored spots
Thanks for my thunder thighs—
They help me to climb the stairs
Thanks for wind in my pipes
(to climb the stairs)
Thanks that I can sing
Thanks that I sing badly
Thanks for stretch marks
Thanks for a great big ass
Thanks for the gaps in my teeth
because without these teeth I would never be able to
Eat Little Debbie Nutty Bars, Hot Tamale candy, and
those addictive restaurant-style tortilla chips.
Thanks for the flab under my arms—
they’re like little bat wings!
Thanks that I’m not dead.
Thanks for one more day
to dance naked.