Sideways thoughts, worries, making it through the next 4 years

When tRump was elected I had so many sideways thoughts. One of which was: Now I’ll have to get on my bike and ride across the country. I immediately had this urge to go hide, runaway from life. The idea of dropping out was very appealing. I didn’t think I could handle the next 4 years. Mostly because I barely handled the other 4 years from 2016-2020. My world was upended by a divorce and pandemic. I did ride my bike across the country.

Flashforward. Today is like reliving the past—except, I’m with family. The press of the everyday, ordinary life squeezes out the existential worry of “what if.” The baby is at a particularly tough age: always getting in to stuff, everything! Truly he would kill himself if we weren’t there to pull him off tables, small spaces he’d gotten into, pulling rocks and mulch out of his mouth. He’s old enough to walk and feed himself. He just lacks judgement, foresight, reason. Skills to keep him alive.

The other grandson is learning patience, empathy, about how to be nice to bugs and his little brother. Much time is spent catching bugs and letting them go. This is my everyday, along with work and riding my bike.

I’d like to drop out or say it doesn’t matter who’s in office. The problem is it does matter. Social programs that Americans were promised are going to be cut. Programs that help with medical costs, programs that help the folks working so hard in this country. For some this means food stamps and housing assistance. I’m worried about the big, beautiful budget that they are trying to ramrod through Congress. I just hope that there are people looking out for the vulnerable.

Until then, I’ll ride my bike—just not across the country. Or maybe I will.